"I'm kidding," Volquez continued, still smiling.
Volquez, of course, did enter the game with the worst run support of any Major League pitcher -- a scant 2.01 runs per start when he was still in the game or just 17 runs in his previous 76 innings. But all of that was easily forgotten Thursday.
The Padres (23-41), who are now 4-2 on this nine-game road trip, backed Volquez (3-6) with two three-run innings against the Mariners (27-38) -- three runs in the fifth inning and then three more in the sixth inning to put the game out of reach.
"It was good to see the guys score some runs," Volquez said. "There's nothing you can really do about it [run support]. All you can do is go deep into the game."
Volquez did just that, taking a shutout into the seventh inning before the Mariners got to him for a run. All told, Volquez allowed one run on four hits in 6 2/3 innings with four walks and six strikeouts.
"He had everything working," said Mariners manager Eric Wedge.
Well, not everything.
"The most impressive thing is that he didn't have the fastball command he's had in the past but he made up for it by throwing breaking balls for strikes," said Padres catcher John Baker. "That was a really impressive veteran performance by him."
Volquez threw first-pitch strikes to 11 of the batters he faced and got the Mariners to put the ball in play early in the count more often than not.
"A lot of breaking balls," Volquez said.
Seattle starting pitcher Erasmo Ramirez (0-1) opened the game with four scoreless innings but ran into trouble in the fifth when he allowed an infield single to Chris Denorfia and then a soft single to right field off the bat of Jesus Guzman.
Baker then dropped down what was intended to be a sacrifice bunt, though the Mariners played it into a single when Baker pushed the ball hard up the third-base line and no one -- not Ramirez and not third baseman Kyle Seager -- went to recover it.
"That was one of those situations where, off the bat, it came off hot and it was in the right spot," said Padres manager Bud Black. "It sort of split the pitcher and the third baseman."
Ramirez got a brief reprieve as Alexi Amarista lined out to shortstop Munenori Kawasaki, although Will Venable followed with an RBI single to right field for a 1-0 lead. Everth Cabrera then bounced a ball to Seager, who attempted to start a double play as a run crossed the plate. When the return throw from second baseman Dustin Ackley skipped past first baseman Justin Smoak, another run scored.
"Guys are executing their plan and approach," Baker said. "If we can score five, six runs with the pitching we have, we're going to win a lot of games."
The Padres then increased their lead to 6-0 with three more runs in the sixth inning, thanks to six consecutive hits in the frame. Chris Denorfia had an RBI double to end Ramirez's night. Jesus Guzman and Baker then added run-scoring singles to break the game open.
The Padres finished with 11 hits, marking the fourth time in their past five games that they've had more than 10 hits in a game.
"That's something that's been lacking for the greater part of the season," Black said. "But I've sensed our offense is starting to come around."
Second baseman Logan Forsythe was in the original starting lineup but was a late scratch. Following the game, Black told reporters that Forsythe had "abdominal side discomfort." Black said the team would know more about Forsythe's condition before Friday's game in Oakland.