Usually, baseball fans are reminded to respect the length of the season, that it's a marathon, not a sprint, that Opening Day is just Game 1 of 162.
Ah, phooey. Why let facts and context get in the way of a good gut reaction?
The lead-up to Opening Day might be all about pomp and circumstance, but the aftermath of Opening Day is all about euphoria or paranoia, and -- just for this one day -- we're going to indulge such extremes. Just for laughs, here are some Opening Day overreactions that might have crossed your mind.
• The Dodgers ought to put 10 guys on the disabled list before every game.
• The Rangers are going to win 100 games this season while notching only 100 hits.
• That Orioles team is full of question marks. Such as: Who will play Joey Rickard in the movie? And what will Mark Trumbo say when he receives his American League Most Valuable Player Award? And how many games will Adam Jones be suspended for bringing back the pie in the face?
• The Indians decided 31 degrees, with a 17-degree wind chill and a slight chance of precipitation was not weather suitable for baseball. Because they play in Cleveland, their home opener will take place June 15.
• The Yankees, meanwhile, ought to keep postponing their game against the Astros until Dallas Keuchel retires.
• Joey Votto struck out three times and then came through with the game-winning hit, but some Reds fans will tell you he still walks too much.
• Sure, Daniel Murphy will probably make the occasional defensive gaffe this year, but the 150 RBIs will more than make up for it.
• Five runs a night for the Blue Jays. OK, that's not actually not an overreaction. Sounds about right.
• Miguel Sano is hitless in his career as a right fielder. What are the chances the Twins can get away with two outfielders and two DHs?
• Man, that Phillies bullpen. And you thought the Liberty Bell was broken. At least Phils fans can look forward to watching Freddy Galvis in the Home Run Derby.
• Before Monday, Felix Hernandez had never lost on Opening Day. But he had also never been on a team that reached the postseason. So, Monday was ... good? Yes, let's go with that.
• The Giants scored 12 runs. They put 20 men on base. They hit four homers, including three in a row for Denard Span, Joe Panik and Buster Posey. They struck out just three times. You know what they say -- it's an even year. As in, should we even bother playing the rest of the schedule? Or should we just hand them the title right now?
• The Rockies are finally going to be an offensive juggernaut on the road. They just have to play every road game at Chase Field.
• From now on, Sonny Gray is not allowed to eat within 72 hours of any start.
• Successive 5-3 losses to start the season will trigger a psychological issue in which Rays fans begin to weep uncontrollably every time there is a groundout to third base.
• Jimmy Rollins will be win the AL Comeback Player of the Year Award, looking as young and sprightly as Adam LaRoche's teenage son.
• The great debate is settled: Mike Trout (0-for-4, 2 Ks) < Bryce Harper (1-for-3, HR, 2 BBs). It was fun while it lasted.
• The Cubs' last World Series win came in 1908, which means the infamous drought began in '09; and 09 backward is 90, and the Cubs won 9-0 on Opening Day, which can only mean ... absolutely nothing. But the Cubs look perfect. Wait till this year.
And a couple from Sunday, which was Opening Day for these clubs.
• Yeah, he might have been the general manager for six postseason teams, three straight division winners, four National League Championship Series teams, two World Series teams and one champ, but it's clear, after not signing any big bats and watching his team score just one run on Opening Day, that John Mozeliak has absolutely no idea what he's doing.
• Yoenis Cespedes dropped a fly ball in left and struck out to end the game with the tying run 90 feet away. The Mets would have been better off spending that $75 million on hogs at the St. Lucie County Fair.
• Five years, $35 million? If Gregory Polanco -- he of the 1.750 OPS -- would have held out just another few weeks, he might have gotten five years, $350 million.