As everyone knows, the best foods aren't served at Michelin-star rated restaurants. They're served at carnivals and out of the back of trucks that were converted into deep fryers on wheels. That's what the Dodgers offered up with some delicious limited-time-only concessions for the NLDS against the D-backs.
During LA's 8-5 victory in Game 2 of the NLDS, I did my best to eat the choicest vittles.
The team dreamed up six creations and sadly, because I am a weak person, I missed out on the ribs topped with blueberry BBQ sauce and the carnitas waffle fries. Judging from the line for both options, it seems like they were both extremely popular:
(image via Dodgers Insider)
However, that still leaves four foods that I did consume. We'll be ranking them from my least favorite to the food I will request for my final meal. We'll also place them on the 20-80 scouting scale: 50 is average, 80 a Hall of Fame meal.
Fried chicken and waffle sandwich
Who doesn't love chicken and waffles? Exactly, it's a perfect combo. Unfortunately, that also meant that it had the highest bar to clear.
Each ingredient was superb -- the waffle was sweet, with a crunchy outside and soft, chewy interior that could easily absorb the maple syrup. The chicken patty was crisp and delightfully spicy. And the candied bacon was crunchy and sweet. Because it was topped with maple syrup and powdered sugar, it didn't work as a sandwich, though, and the plastic forks weren't strong enough to cut through the flavor layers (or flayvers).
Perhaps instead of putting maple syrup on top of the sandwich, which made gripping the sandwich an impossible task, a maple aioli could be used inside the 'wich. And instead of candied strips of bacon, perhaps they could be crumbled and cooked inside the waffle.
There's a lot to like here, but could be improved for convenience sake.
Overall flavorbility: 50
Doughnut bacon double cheeseburger
I've had doughnut cheeseburgers before. I've even had a jelly doughnut cheeseburger at a Cape Cod League game and came away unscathed, but with my life unchanged. So, when I walked to the counter to order this monstrosity, I ordered with a bit of a smirk. What could they possibly show me?
I should feel bad. Because this was no mere doughnut burger. This featured two wonderfully cheesy, fatty patties topped with bacon, blackberry jam and maple syrup. Somehow, it all worked together. It was a perfect sweet and salty treat that could be eaten on the move -- if you can accept that it will coat your hands with glaze.
It's hard to top elote: Grill corn, cover in butter, mayo and cheese and eat. This one adds crunch and spice in the form of Flaming Hot Cheetos. Yes, really.
I tried to limit myself to no more than half of each of these, so I wouldn't collapse into a food coma in between stops, but I couldn't stop with this one. The crunch and heat of the Cheetos was perfectly balanced by the creamy chipotle-lime mayo and the sweetness of the corn. Sure, this food isn't good for you, but you can at least look your spouse/parent/doctor and say "This is a vegetable."
Fried chicken ice cream donut sandwich
That's right, the food that seemed most like a joke -- something designed purely for social media virality -- was actually the best.
And let me tell you something: I hate sticky hands. I hate messy foods that cover my hands with goo and force me to use enough napkins to wipe out a rainforest.
This is a sandwich that is impossible to eat neatly and still I loved it. I adored it. I will now dream of it. The genius who thought this up deserves a grant and a Nobel prize.
Once again, we've got that perfectly constructed jelly donut. The sign said it was an onion-and-blackberry jam. A+.
Then we've got the spicy chicken patty.
There's bacon, natch. Because everything on this list seemingly contains bacon.
And then there is a big, cold square of vanilla ice cream. It was so perfectly sweet and cool that, even as it squirted onto my hands, I smiled. My mouth was deliriously, gloriously confused as it had to deal with both sweet, cold ice cream and spicy, hot chicken patty and I even coughed on my first bite as the spice cut through so unexpectedly.
I know. I know that this seems like it shouldn't work, but it did. And I will now be searching out every fast food restaurant and fried chicken hut begging them to put ice cream on my sandwich. They'll look at me like I'm crazy, but I'll know the truth. And if you make it to Dodger Stadium before this sandwich disappears, then you'll know it, too.