We know that there have been a lot of rumors about what the next season of "Serial" is going to be about, but we're here to quash them for good. We know what Sarah Koenig is investigating next, and it's whatever Jose Bautista and Munenori Kawasaki were getting up to in the Blue Jays dugout during Sunday's game against the Rays:
Sarah, help us! What's going on here? We need you and a friend to see if it's actually possible to move human eyes that fast. Are the towel and sunglasses a disguise or are they essential parts of some strange, rain-summoning ceremony? We need at least eight hours of radio about what's actually happening.
Oh, and if you could re-enact Bautista's bat flip from the on-deck circle, after Josh Donaldson hit a walk-off home run, that would be great. We don't actually think it will help the investigation -- it's just awesome.
Update: Actually, who needs Sarah Koenig, after all? Bautista answered our question himself: