If the trials and tribulations of one SpongeBob SquarePants have taught us anything, it's that
Krabby Pants will go right to your thighs no one ever wants to dance with a fool who's gone and ripped his pants:
Poor Jose Altuve had to learn this the hard way during Monday's Angels-Astros game. Things began so well: After flying around the bases, Altuve slid triumphantly into third ready to celebrate his big triple. And then, a look down, and ... hey, is it drafty in here?
Chin up though, Jose. Not only did the Astros go on to beat the Angels, 6-3, but SpongeBob is here with some friendly advice: Just round up some of your friends for an impromptu musical performance (might we suggest Orbit?) and all will be forgiven: