When going to a baseball game, you tend to think of three things, not necessarily in this order: 1. Catching a home run ball; 2. Eating food; 3. Eating more food.
And Major League teams understand that. While our grandparents were left to eat simple hot dogs in aluminum foil and boxes of Cracker Jack (both delicious, understated staples), recent years have shown us an explosion of flavors and foods at ballparks.
But the best options are, as always, the ones that combine food with a player's name -- giving it that highly specialized, incredibly-punny flair that we fans crave. Like the Rangers' Choomongous, a 24-inch Korean beef sandwich named in honor of outfielder Shin-Soo Choo.
But teams haven't gone far enough. Today, we suggest 10 food options that Major League teams simply must begin offering.
Our 10 suggestions:
Texas already is home to both the Choomongous and the Boomstick, originally named for slugger Nelson Cruz. But the Rangers have yet to offer up a player-specific topping. Fortunately, Joey Gallo's dingers provide the inspiration for a condiment that's ready for nachos, tacos, and your Boomstick, too.
Or, if you want something that fits on your Choomongous, try the Kimchi-Chi Gonzalez:
But where would you go to find these refreshing topping? If you were in San Francisco, that would be easy: Just head over to the Madison Bumgarnish station. There you'd find your salsas, ketchups, mustards,and, most importantly, your mint leaves, parsley flakes and sprigs of rosemary.
Then be sure to walk on over to the Brandon Crawfish stand and sample a few etoufees, bisques, and even a bucket filled with the mini-lobsters. Nothing says baseball like mini-lobsters.
However, if you're looking for some fast casual Italian food that will make future generations forget about pizza, then you're going to want to head to Citi Field and pick up your Bartolo Calzone. Because they already come in their own casing, calzones could one day be fired into the crowd like hot dogs and T-shirts!
If throwable-foods are your thing, then hop on a jet for Miami's Dee GorDonut stand. To highlight how fast Gordon is on the basepaths, these are served to you down a small chute where the pastries can pick up speeds over 30 mph. Better have good hands!
If you're still in the mood for breakfast, you'll want to head to Milwaukee. While the Wisconsin area is known for its brats, kielbasas and other tubed meats, we have yet to see the Brewers embrace sausages as breakfast food. Perhaps we could then interest you in some Tyler Sausage and Cravy? (Once this takes off, we fully expect to see an Andrew Susac, Egg and Cheese sandwich in San Francisco.)
Naturally, in Cincinnati, Sunday day games would also have eggs benedict with Sam LeCured ham, or, for evening games, LeCured ham sandwiches and Billy Hamilton and cheese croissaints. It all ties together, too, for Cincinnati was once known as "Porkopolis."
While salted meats may help stick to the ribs in Cincinnati, that may be a bit heavy in the hot and dry Orange County heat. While soaking up the sun at Angels Stadium, cool down with a David Freese pop. Or perhaps you'd rather have an Erick Frozen CandAybar?
And finally, we end our culinary tour in St. Louis. With the Cardinals playing late into October nights nearly every year, you're going to need to warm up and stay awake with plenty of coffee. And nothing goes better with a hot cup of joe than the crunchy and sweet Stephen Biscotty.
Those are our 10 favorites, the concessions that we hope and expect teams to begin adopting any day now. Any good ones that we missed? Tweet them @Cut4 with the #MLBFantasyFood tag.
Here's a few of our favorites that you came up with:
@Cut4 Wily Mo Penne- KP (@kpheland) August 27, 2015
@Cut4 Matt Szczur Salad- David Suarez (@1david_suarez) August 27, 2015
@Cut4 Puigs In A Blanket- Jason Barbato (@JBarbato18) August 27, 2015